Indian Wedding

 

What to Expect at an Indian Wedding

Those of you who come from non–South Asian backgrounds may be wondering what to expect at an Indian wedding. Even if you've attended a ceremony in the past, consider that with upward of 30 distinct cultures within the continent, no two Indian weddings will be exactly the same. "People think, 'Indian weddings are Indian weddings,' but that's not true," says Sonal Shah, a wedding planner for the South Asian community in the U.S. "It's important to know the type of Indian family—North Indian? South Indian? Punjabi?—and recognize it's still a matter of how cultural nuances are addressed individually."

• What should I wear to an Indian wedding?

  "I'd tell readers to rent some fun Indian wedding attire if they don't necessarily want to buy these really heavy Indian outfits they may not wear again," says Shah. "Typically, the only color that Indian culture doesn’t wear is white or black, so just have them focus on being very colorful." Men should wear long sleeves and long pants. Both men and women need to bring something to cover their heads during the ceremony.

• How long is an Indian wedding?

  A typical Indian wedding timeline stretches about three days. The Hindu wedding ceremony, which takes place on the third day, usually lasts between one-and-a-half to two hours and is then followed by the reception. The whole day clocks around 16 hours.

• Will the newlyweds kiss?

   Traditionally, there is no kiss at the end of a Hindu wedding ceremony as it is considered too personal for such a public setting. However, this can vary based on the mentalities of the couples themselves as well as their families.

• Should I bring a gift?

  "No box gifts" instructions are commonly found at the bottom of Indian wedding invitations, explains Shah. The gift of choice, if a couple does want one, is usually money. But always make sure the amount ends in a one, advises Shah. "In our culture, the best of things end in one. So you'd never gift $100. You'd do $101."

An Astrology-Approved Date and Time

A pandit (also spelled pundit), is a Hindu priest who will preside over the ceremony and consult astrology to determine the most auspicious date and time for that ceremony to take place. This becomes especially taxing if a South Asian couple chooses to marry stateside. "In America, you only try for weekend weddings, but it's not like you just pick a Saturday and make sure the Plaza is available," says Shah. "Now the Plaza has to be available and the date has to be auspicious and then the time. It’s so hard to get dates from your priests that are just for Saturdays. That's why so many Indian people are getting married on the same exact date."

Multiple Days of Events

The actual nuptial ceremony and reception, similar to what a Western wedding encompasses, take place on the third day after two days of more intimate events (such as the tilak ceremony, the haldi (or pithi) ceremony, the mehndi party, and the sangeet) that are only attended by close friends and family members. Most people prefer to incorporate natural light and will opt for an outdoor ceremony, but ballrooms that support open flame (more on that later) are also an option.

Lots of Red

Red is considered auspicious and, not surprisingly, it is the most prominent color at Indian weddings—usually with gold accents. "Saris, flowers, decorations, invitations—everything will be red," says Shah. "Sometimes we even put a little bit of red dye in the bride’s hair two or three days before the wedding."